So...what the hell happened? |
After 3 crazy months on the road with Red, we've decided to go our own separate ways. This will please some, disappoint others, but it's not a matter for public discussion :-) I really didn't want to do video during that time, wanted to focus more on the relationship and social media has a habit of getting in the way of that.
So now I'm back on the east coast, RV is running well, though it's time for some basic service to it. Will there be videos again? Probably...maybe...who knows.
As some of you know, or maybe have guessed, I suffer from long dark depressions...and I'm there again now. I simply have no idea what comes next, no interest in doing anything at all. I'm alone with this great RV, could go anywhere I wanted to, I just don't care. I could be out shooting videos again...but no idea of what...
But there was this little place we passed through along the way...New Orleans.
I was dreading it, I hate big cites and crowds and it was mardi gras at the time...I thought it was going to be an absolute nightmare, but that was the only useful road to take to get to other places I did want to go.
Something ELSE entirely happened. I found that I enjoyed it, not just enjoyed, loved the shit out of it. I was actually shocked by how comfortable and normal I felt there. Of course, I realize it won't ever be the same, this is just some depression fuelled fantasy. But in all the thousands of miles we travelled west and back...there was this one town I didn't hate.
It's really a matter of needing something, anything to cling to right now to get my ass out of this funk. Maybe NOLA really is one massive shit hole...some parts of it are for sure. Maybe that shit will start to leak in to my dream world of the place and wreck it all, but that's not the point. Right now, I simply need something to pull me out of the darkness. I may never actually get there again, might find something else along the way and that's OK. I just can't keep sitting here, falling farther down the rabbit hole.
We endure anyways, don't we? What other choice is there?